1. When it rains it pours and I’m soaking wet.

    Selected as the alternate for a trial aka the LAST person to be selected for the Jury and I don’t even get to vote on anything I just have to spend the next few days of my life NOT doing all the things I need to do and instead sitting in a room talking about LAW STUFF.

    I’m triple booked for stuff this Saturday. I’m triple booked all week. I’m triple booked in life and EVERYTHING IS SO HARD.

    I think the hardest part is not knowing anything. Not knowing where I want to accept a job. Not knowing what M wants to do. Not knowing what my data for my thesis looks like. Not knowing how I’m going to do on the brewing diploma exam. Not knowing anything and nothing feels stable. 

    I had a lot of ~salted caramel core~ ice cream and one beer (albeit a GIANT beer) and things feel a little better. I don’t know how I’m going to do it all. I trust it will but at the same time I’m so scared it won’t. 

    Time to have a giant salad because that’s how health works.

     
  2. officialfrenchtoast:

    Jon Snow - The Windmill Specialist

    (via kittypurrin)

     
  3. (Source: femmerun, via sego-lily)

     
  4. meghanurasana:

    This is straight up food porn.

    Hashtag NSFW.

    (Source: mr-food)

     

  5. Currently:

    Homemade bread with peanut butter for all the meals.

    Peanut butter in my hair.

    Stupidest cold ever.

    Worst SI pain I’ve had in ~5 years. WHY. WHAT DID I DO TO YOU. 

    The feeling of drowning is all the time now. I never feel like I’m doing enough. 

    Studying ~control loops~ and nothing makes any sense and now I’m out of peanut butter toast WHY.

    I want to go to yoga but I don’t want to go to yoga because forward folds are like knives but if I don’t go to yoga I’ll just wallow in control loops some more.

    [I promise, I’ll find something else positive to say.]

    Received a box of 24 rolls of paper towels and it’s comically huge (positive? I think so.)

    I also got Jack White’s Blunderbuss on vinyl, so that’s a thing I can do tonight. 

    I’ve followed the 40 days meditation schedule extremely well and it’s already day 18 so that’s kind of great.

    It’s Friday. That’s good, right?

     

  6. "Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish."
    — Hermann Hesse (via wholelottaquotes)

    (via dayyytripper)

     
  7.  
  8. Hi, beautiful.

    (via maeganbobaegan)

     

  9. "Happiness begins with you. Not with your relationship, your friends, or your job. But with you."
    — Mandy Hale (via w-ritings)

    (Source: iwaschangedforgood, via breathelivecreate)

     
  10. April 11th-12th:

    -broke my beer-free streak for an old favorite

    -Bombay Bicycle Club in Sacramento. I LOVE THEM THE MOST. It was so loud and perfect and their music makes my heart feel all the things. Mostly bass because it was really loud but other stuff too.

    -today is Picnic Day aka DAVIS GOES CRAZY DAY. We were in the parade I was the Demeter the Goddess of Grain and I boxed Dionysus in a true Grape vs Grain fashion and there were people dressed as grapes and hops and barley and it was a great morning. BUT I AM SO TIRED.

    -napped for forever, Dee was ready for us to be awake again.

    -currently: finishing coconut yogurt with amarena cherries (UNFKSJDF) and walnuts in it and wishing it would never end, contemplating watching Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones today but I don’t know if I can sleep ever again, in need of a shower to wash dirt and blood off (boxing as a Greek god is serious business), and grateful for levity.

     

  11. "You have
    galaxies inside your head.
    Stop letting people
    tell you
    you cannot shine."
    — "For all those self doubters, take note"  (via schlafwandel)

    (Source: cudah, via smyelin)

     
  12. The struggle is real.

    (Source: itshayree, via mermaidtrousers)

     

  13. "A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
    — 

    Mahatma Gandhi (via childoflust)

    Yep.

    (Source: purplebuddhaproject, via maeganbobaegan)

     
  14. This is my life now. 10 weeks til brewing diploma exam. I really love this schedule because it’s pretty open and I’m only TAing twice a week and I have 2 more brew days for my research and then it’s just write and compile data and study and practice TED talk and make presentation for conference in Chicago in June and IT’S STILL SO MUCH. 

    I might start a new blog. I might not. I might change the name of this one, I might not. I don’t know. I need a place to write about things, without so much agency. Anyways.

    I can’t stop buying tank tops that say shit on them. This one says, “But first, coffee.” Thx, lookhuman.

    I’m doing Baptiste’s 40 days to personal revolution (what up, day 8) and considering giving up chocolate for the next 33 days. A typical day’s food log seems to include chocolate chips with every meal. I don’t know if I can do it. But I love this program, I love being accountable for meditation, and I love the community at my studio and the women doing the program with me. A lot of my students are older and a lot of them treat me like one or their own kids and I’m so grateful for the love.

    Things feel better, and then they don’t, and then they do again. Practicing presence.

     
  15. Monday Positivity:

    Slowly but surely things are starting to feel a little better. I had a really busy weekend (Picnic Day is next week and it’s a Davis-wide celebration in which there is a parade and I will be dressed up as the Goddess of Grains battling the God of Grapes. There are also going to be people in hops & barley & grapes costumes and overall ridiculousness) and lots of stuff to do at the yoga studio and it was really nice to come home after all of that.

    Today’s plan:

    -study study study study study study (emphasis on colloidal stability and color of beer)

    -meditate

    -clean

    -start practicing my TEDx talk. AKSDFJ

    -yoga

    -blow up new pool floaty because it’s going to be 80. then study some more pool side. 

    -as much Dee cuddling as possible.

    -BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING